We are getting married and as most brides-to-be, I too am endeavoring to get healthy and lose a few pounds.  The weight has been with me for a couple of year, kind of like an old comfortable friend.  Although I am not implying I want to rid myself of a good friend, I do wish to rid myself of the muffin tops (the extra weight hanging over the top of your pants) and back fat that has endeared itself to me!  Thank you muffin tops and back fat but I think I am fine without you.

Technically I am not overweight, but definitely have lost the toned body I used to have of my early to mid 20’s.  Where did it go?  I don’t think I gave it permission to leave!  I am just shy of 5’10 and weight currently (I so cannot believe I am going to share this…) about 145lbs.  My weight is probably just a natural progression of aging but why should I accept this as permission for my body to change.  There is no grace in that.

A few days ago my fiancé sent me a link about a husband that is seeking advice about how to tell his wife she is a little chubbier and how he wants her to lose some weight.  Oh no, is this a hint?  And then he sent another link to an article about the correlation of marriage and weight gain.  No no, I really don’t believe he is trying to tell ME to lose weight, he actually see’s humour in these articles.  Nonetheless I heed his warnings and see this as an opportunity to get up off my butt and make some needed changes.

First I would like to applaud the husband seeking advice on how to tell his wife he is loosing sexual interest in her because of the weight gain.  He is giving her a chance to prevent him from cheating.  He is not dead yet and face it, we all have sexual urges!  Too bad he doesn’t feel he can just blurt it out.  Even though it’s not nice to hear someone tell you something you likely already know and despise about yourself, it really needs to be said.  If you feel you have any good suggestions for him, go to his post.  He seems to have tried everything except telling her outright that he is loosing his attraction to her.  Nah, I have not done it yet, figured I would let one of you! http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/8wgsu/how_do_you_tell_your_wife_that_she_is_overweight/

Maybe this phenomenon is more closely related to the happy union of marriage than I previously thought.  An article in Time magazine discusses studies conducted regarding the correlation of marriage and weight gain in both men and women.  Men win in these studies, their weight tends peak in the first two years and then they plateau.  Women on the other hand, well we just keeping packing on the pounds.  Where is the justice in that?  And why is this the case, why do WE have to keep gaining the weight?  This does not seem to work for the woman’s advantage evolutionarily speaking.  Suggestions anyone?


Is it true that we women become compliant with our weight as we age?  The article in Times magazine does not talk about the impact of pregnancy on the woman’s body and how that too can correlate to weight gain.  It saddens me to think that I may be doomed to the pounds progressively finding their way onto my body.  Rubbish I say, rubbish!

There are tons of people out there seeking advise about their weight, getting healthy and about their partners that cheat (maybe due to your weight but could be other things as well).  Most of the time you can answer the question(s) yourself but we tend to reach out to others for help hoping they will not point out the obvious.

Dr. Laura is a know-it-all doctor whom I believe acts solely on the agenda of profit and disregard for human understanding.  Obviously I do not like Dr. Laura, she is a glaring example of a paradox of contradictions and for that reason I will not provide you a direct link to her page!  You can find it yourself if you like.  As well as being a published author, Dr. Laura hosts a radio show where she dispenses advice to people in about 3 minutes, usually horrible advice.  Why am I talking about her then?  Well, in this one situation the good Dr. did provide sound commentary for one person; she told her caller the truth.  I use this example to show how we could all be more honest to those we love (but maybe use a little more decorum and tact, we are calling for honesty not an all out personal attack).

This lady called complaining about how her husband told her he was no longer attracted to her because she had gotten fat (sorry, don’t really like that word but it is in context of the conversation).  She wanted Dr. Laura to be outraged at the husbands’ comments and tell her how out of line her husband is.  Dr. Laura asked the lady about her height and her weight and surprise surprise, what was the Dr.’s reply to this poor lady seeking a brilliant answer?  News flash lady, you ARE fat!  Loose some weight!  Not sure what happened to this caller, but I have to agree with Dr. Laura on that one.  Again, the approach could have been a little more loving but Dr. Laura is not known for gentle love.

Although research says that women gain wait when in a relationship, I say it is much more important to be trim and healthy when you are in a committed relationship.  Do you really want your man’s eye to roam and his fingers to wander?  He may love you dearly, but that does not mean he has to love your new plush and cushy body.  As much as I say that a woman has a responsibility to look after her body, so does the man!  We can all fall victim to a wandering eye and roaming hands, we are human after all.

You have reached the end of my post and I have yet to tell you why we gain weight in relationships.  To be honest I am not sure I am qualified to answer that.  But what I do know is that as we age our bodies change as does our metabolism.  Even though these milestones are earmarked in our futures we are still able to make decisions that will impact our weight, like eating one big mac instead of two.  Make your choices wisely and if you have gained weight (outside a medical condition) at least try to do something about it.   Seek advice, but not from Dr. Laura unless you are prepared for brutal honesty!